The Lifegiving Home Book Club (Week #2)
When I say my children (and Clay) are my deepest, very best friends, I really mean it. Sarah and I have been meeting once a week for tea time, coffee time or whatever, for over 20 years. She is my soul friend—and so are my other sweet ones. But it comes with intentionality, seeking to love well, using words of encouragement, and seeking to understand. Take time for tea time with one of your precious ones this week because these rhythms build a family culture of love.
One of my boys commented after returning home for the holidays, “It is so great to be back in our family culture of love— no matter what conflict, difficulty, failure or attitude, I know I can come home to unconditional love. I have all of you here to support me, to accept me, to help me. What a grace to grow up in a family culture of unconditional love. I never knew how blessed our family was until I left home. We have so very much to celebrate together now that we are together again. I am so happy to be here to be able to restore.”
We were not a perfect family, we had conflict through seasons, but unchanging love was the holding foundation of our home culture.
All of us as families create a family culture of some kind. The traditions we keep, the meals we make, the routines we practice, the values we espouse and hold, the movies that are our favorites, the church we attend, the generosity we practice, the way we invest time, the company we keep— all of these come together to craft our particular family culture. We can also inadvertently create a family culture that is negative—a culture of anger, neglect, guilt, discord, disharmony, worldly values, and so on.
I have realized over many years that crafting a culture of love requires that I become the conductor of a loving, generous heart that leads all of my children to understand God's love. We model ourselves after the ultimate lover—Jesus. Toddlers to teens will question us along the way, but fervent love wins the day.
This week's reading assignment will show you how to create a culture of love and service in your family!
Your Reading Assignment
This week, you and I are going to read the chapters February (A Culture of Love: Growing Lifelong Relationships, p. 59) and October (Home is Best: Serving Life Within Your Walls, p. 193) in The Lifegiving Home.
More from Life With Sally
After you read this week's reading assignment, hop over to the Life With Sally Forum (button below) to join the discussion for our book club! Here is what we will be thinking, discussing, and pondering over on the forum:
On pages 68-71 I write about practical ways you can say “I love you,” to anyone: offering kindness and sympathy, offering focused time and attention, offering words of affirmation and encouragement, acts of service, saying “I'm sorry,” giving gifts or cards, offering respect or honor, and physical affection. Which area does your family do well? How can you find new ways to express love to those within your walls?
On page 76, I wrote “Each child responded differently to life. I had to study my kids to see what was going on with them. Then I had to figure out what each one liked and how best to communicate personal love to them. When I did that, I saw their little and big hearts open.” Have you been a student of those in your home? What makes them feel seen, heard, accepted, and loved within your family? How can you incorporate more opportunities to show personal love to your people?
Having a place and time to rest, to be encouraged, and to find hope and healing is one of the most powerful gifts of a lifegiving home. On page 200, I wrote a few ways that you can make a home a place of sanctuary including: a cozy environment, comforting food and drinks, healing aromas, privacy and protection, loyalty and commitment, and a listening ear. A loving home, carefully prepared can be a powerful source of rest, healing, and comfort. What are some ways you can incorporate those ideas into your own home?
When you're thinking of home as a place of refuge, respite, and rest, a place to serve those in need, please include yourself! Burnout is always a possiblity for those of us who are called to serve friends, family, and others longing for home. How can you fill your own soul, so that you can give back to others? What are tiny moments you can take for yourself to give your mind, heart, and soul a break?